SHE DIDN’T EXIST

MILEAGE 2: SHE DIDN’T EXIST

CHAPTER 1
Serial Soul Snatcher

“Randy, come back to bed, man,” D called out to me. I simply rolled my eyes. I do not like being called that. There is only one person I could hear saying it and it wouldn’t affect me- but I haven’t heard from her in over a year now. 

I stared at myself long and hard in the bathroom mirror. My makeup was intact, my hair up in a messy silver bun, a blend between straight and curly where today’s sex session had sweated out random chunks and strands. I had to straighten my hair ASAP. Almost a year later and this messy curly bun routine made me think of her. 

“Randy!”

“Stop FUCKIN calling me that, D,” I shouted out at her as I walked back into her bedroom. “Stop CALLING me that and no I cannot come back to bed. Matter fact, no DO-RO-THY, I can’t come back to bed.”

D sat up in the bed and rubbed her waved up fade, pouting. “One, it’s definitely just D, and two, man, damn, I know, class.” She pouted and toughened up a little an instant later. “Don’t talk to me like that, man.”

I ignored her last statement. “Yes, class.”  I walked over to the side of the bed and leant forward, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. She giggled and slid back under the blanket, her eyes following my every move until I was finally out the door. 

D had a way of following me with her eyes every which way I walked since the first day she laid eyes on me on campus. She stalked me with her eyes. Before she ever uttered a word to me, I watched her eyes kiss my every curve, caress my lips, fall into my blue eyes. 

That girl loved my eyes. 

Once I made it into my car, an old Maxima that my big sister passed down to me once she finally moved out and grew up. Fortunately, she came by the house so much, it was almost as if she never left, so I didn’t really have to miss her for real. 

I slid off my Nike slides and threw them in the passenger seat. I pulled out my phone knowing I owed two people phone calls. One of them being my sister. Both she and Mark had called me during my morning rendezvous. I decided that I had to call my situationship partner first.

MILEAGE XIII

Chapter 13

Explanation II

SHE LOOKED UP at me with big wet puppy eyes. "Tiki, I'm so sorry. I am so sorry. You have to know that I never meant to hurt you or your father, at all. I love you and I love your father, too. In different ways. When I met your father, I met the greatest man in the world. There was no better than him. But I have needs, Tiki," I rolled my eyes at this completely by accident, because we all know that Catherine had needs, "and your father was barely around. We had a big argument about it before I went to Maine and then Brazil and we ceased contact during that trip, which was when I became involved with Mr. Auburn. I wasn't that into him, really. But one night on the beach I had an experience with a woman that left me confused with what that meant for me because I enjoyed it so much. So I threw myself at Henry because I had to make sure that it was men that I wanted. Not necessarily Henry, but men. MAN. He fell in love, but I just wanted your father. That wasn't an option, however. He was unavailable, not paying me any mind. When I came home your father didn't pick me up from the airport, you did.

“He made it seem like it was work but purposefully picked up shifts and was never around from the minute I arrived back here to when I left. I was always just here, counting down until my next trip and then I started hanging out with you, Tiki, and you became my best friend, you really did. Between your father's alienation- "I rolled my eyes again at this- "Henry being so... so difficult and needy, and me discovering who I really was, well, I just thought that, I mean..." she let her voice drift off and looked down and then back up at me.

I wasn't sure if she was going to burst out in tears again but the dramatics were all too much for me so I slid her over the box of tissue that sat on my table and slowly got up and headed to my stash. A spliff would be needed for this and I couldn't figure out why I didn't already have one prepared.

I sat back and rolled up as Catherine quietly watched.

"Catherine," I said sternly. She blinked. "I know you like how my tongue pearls the spliff, but continue please"

She sighed and sat back, slowly peeling her eyes away from me and staring off into the dramatic distance. "Tiki, we started spending so much time together and well, you know how that goes. You went from best friend to lover. I loved you. I LOVE you. But I couldn't do what you wanted me to do. I couldn't ruin the relationship between you and your father. I couldn't come mess up things between you two, and I didn't want you thinking that way either. It all sounded beautiful, but it wasn't practical, Tiki. So I tried the best I could to distance myself, and it was so hard-" I caught a tear welling up in the corner of her right eye but I was over rolling my eyes so I sat silently and ground up some of my stash- "but then I ended up having to work with Dr. Auburn," she gently sighed and began toying with her hair, "Fiona, who is so good with children and then things happened between us and well, I'm her first woman experience and she's fallen hard. I just, I don't know if I feel for her the same way she feels for me." The tears rolled down again and I began to wonder how much tears she had stored up in there.

"Catherine, did you ever feel the same way we felt about you to any of us? And no, I'm not trying to hear you discovering yourself as an excuse, Catherine. I understand just how scary a time that can be, I get it. But that doesn't give you a right or excuse to step all over people's feelings and love for you." I leaned forward and began grinding more weed. "There's ways to go about shit, Catherine, and this ain't fucking it."

She watched me lick, roll and tuck, lick, roll and tuck, before she opened her mouth to say something. However, no words came out. She just sat there looking like a fish in water.

I reached over and rubber her shoulder with my free hand, then grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. I hated what she'd done to me- to my father, but I loved her I couldn't stop loving her overnight. She nestled into my neck and I let my face nuzzle her brown curls, taking in the scent. I didn't realize how much I truly missed her, but I couldn't get caught up. I sat up, lit the spliff and took a deep draw. "Stop crying," I coughed out. "I hate seeing you like this."

She sat up and wiped away the tears streaming her face. "Tiki, I'm so so sorry. You have to understand."

"Explain Sam," I bellowed out, to my surprise.

"You know why," she whispered, weakly. "As for Miranda, I knew that was some kind of set up. She couldn't have possibly thought I would be that dumb."

"It's not dumb that they think you are, Captain."

She wiped away a couple more tears. "I don't know what else to say, Tiki."

"I don't know what else to say myself, Catherine."

She scooted to the edge of the cushion she sat on and stopped abruptly. "I love you, Tiki, I do. But I love your father very much, too. And I'm sorry I hurt you both." She got up and made her way upstairs and I watched her leave, up and then out of the door.

IT WAS REALLY happening. I looked around at my room, an Egypt where the pyramids were that of boxes. My last night in my basement domain, and the feeling was bittersweet. I was leaving the house that I and my dad had stuck together in for so long, and all alone at that, when something so awkward and intense had occurred. I hadn't seen Catherine since our talk, and my father had been MIA, most certainly picking up shifts and throwing himself in work and coworker gatherings. This was also a relief because I couldn't stand to see my father stressed or grieving over this situation, but at the same time I didn't want him feeling alone.

Same had come over earlier in the day to kick it and help me pack up the last of my petty little belongings, as well as spark a final cypher. Something about having this room completely empty was heart wrenching to me, so I sat down on the couch and scrolled through IKEA for new furniture. This could be a guest room/office for Dad or yet, me, when I felt comfortable being in the space again.
          Of course I leaving behind the memories made here with Miranda. As I scrolled the IKEA website, my mind slowly scrolled through the memories with her, smoking with me on the couch, dragging my blankets everywhere, breaking her back in. Overwhelmed, I put the laptop on the couch next to me and fumbled through my book bag for my last bit of bud. Time to re-up.

MILEAGE XII

Chapter 12
Explanation.



  SAM AND I sat on her bed, listening to music and cyphering spliffs. I didn't yet tell her about my morning and I guess Miranda hadn't either, because she didn't press me. She just accepted my company and weed.
  I ashed the spliff and dropped it in the tray.
  "Sam, I gotta tell you what happened, bro," I said suddenly.
  She leaned back and hit her blunt.
  "Oh man. Shoot," she agreed.
  I ran down the eavesdropping through my door, the discussion with my father, Miranda confirming the sex between Sam and Catherine and then the fight over some failed setup between Miranda and Catherine. I added the argument between Miranda and I at the end and let her take it all in.
  "So wait," Sam said, looking confused as she hit the blunt. "Your dad knows about me and Captain?"
  "Yeah," I answered. "But I don't think he feels any type of way towards you because of it, his beef is with Catherine."
  "But, nah, see Tiki, that's fucked all the way up. I don't want your father feeling a way towards me. I love him like he's my own father."
  Sam was obviously upset her spot was blown but I couldn't feel bad. She should've thought about that. She risked our relationship sleeping with Catherine's dumbass as well.
  "He's not upset at you, Sam. He's upset at Catherine. She cheated on him with a man and two women to his knowledge and he has a feeling on a third person. He's not worried abut you over here thinking with your strap like you always do. But, how about this shit you and Miranda tried to pull on Catherine?" I asked. I glanced at my phone and saw no text from Miranda. I hit her up with a message asking if she was okay and locked my phone.
  "Well, you know that I wanted to get revenge on Capt., right?"
  I nodded.
  "Well, I had Miranda start flirting with her and texting her shit. I wanted to show out Catherine's hoeness. I set it up to the point where her and Miranda would end up in a room together expecting to fuck, so I could record it all. Miranda would reject and play her, of course, and then I would show you and your father the footage. Catherine would get the boot, life would go on. But-"
  "But what?" I cut off, annoyed. What a stupid game. This shit isn't Maury, as much as it resembled it.
  "But when Miranda seen just how much Catherine was down for it, she got pissed off and quit the plan. And wanted to fight Catherine, which apparently, she did. Yo, she ohdee loves you and I just absolutely cannot with this shit."
  I sat taking Sam's words in. I glanced at my phone to see that Miranda still hadn't texted back. I wasn't the type to blow up phones and I was trying to figure out if I was mad at her or not so I put my phone down and let that situation rock.
  "My sister is an idiot, and she has this sassiness to her and she doesn't take shit. And that's something that I know you like, maybe love about her, shit, that's something that I love about her. She doesn't like people crossing her or people that she loves and when that happens she don't take it. She don't allow it. Yeah, she has some growing up to do but you knew that. So you can't be that mad."
  I let Sam say what she had to say and she had valid points that I could agree with. At the same time I was annoyed and found all of them childish. The turned my situation into some sort of game and it was serious. And on top of all the bullshit sat Catherine's hoe ass. She needed help. She obviously had a problem. She couldn't really love herself, especially when she kept fucking over everyone that loved her. I sat in silence for a couple seconds thinking everything over and smoking. I looked at my phone, no Miranda.
  "Well, she's not talking to me," I sighed.
  "Probably because she feels like you were caping for Cap. Which you were low key. Which I understand. You love Catherine at the end of the day despite her ways and you are falling for Randa, and you don't want anything to happen to anyone, but you have to understand that nigg*s gotta reap what they sow, including you and me. She'll get over this in due time and you gotta apologize, but you looking like you don't want to do that right now. Leave it alone until you're ready and you got your thoughts through." Sam slapped me on the shoulder and snatched the blunt out of my mouth, laughing.
  I chuckled but really absorbed her words. Sam was goofy as shit, and didn't love these hoes, but she had a good head on most of the time. We were partners for a reason. Best friends without the title. We definitely had a bromance and it was a strong one, one that a thot almost fucked up but never really could.


  I left Sam's crib with Miranda still not talking to me. I tried calling twice, texted her a "?" and left it alone, especially since I wasn't completely over the levels everyone around me was stooping to.
I sat to myself in my room watching Family Guy until I couldn't take it anymore and shut the TV off. Before I left Sam's house she showed me the messages between Catherine and Miranda. I was dumbfounded. How could Catherine be so stupid? She couldn't possibly believe Miranda. The messages from Miranda weren't even believable. I decided that I needed to sit down and talk to Catherine. Not bark at her, yell at her, make her feel inferior, but actually sit her down and have a discussion and try to understand what and how her mind worked. There was something wrong there.
  I called Catherine about three times back to back to back before she answered-- this situation was important enough for me to blow her phone up over.
  She sounded surprised but timidly agreed to come home and talk about things.
  Waiting for her, I got up and started neatening up. I really couldn't stand a mess, but when Miranda stormed out, she managed to clean the majority of the mess we had made.
  I was left with fluffing pillows, picking up lint and putting change away in my coin jar.
  Finally, she sauntered down the stairs, looking as though she was stressed out and tuckered out from working all day.
  "Tiki," she said, sitting on the couch.
  I took her in. I hadn't really checked her out since everything went down but she was naturally beautiful. Brown, curly hair against golden brown skin, a beautiful smile graced with dimples and a crazy body. Her thighs were smooth and golden and could make anyone drool and wish to be in between them. I almost caught myself but remembered who and where I was-- and who and what Catherine was.
  "You look pretty," I started off.
  She seemed to relax a little bit. "Thanks," she responded. "You look okay."
  "Just okay?" I licked my thumbs and ran them along my eyebrows. "Girl. This is more than just some okay," I joked.
  She laughed a little and it was beautiful to hear and see.
  "Okay, you're maybe a little more than okay," she said, still giggling.
  "You sure?" I asked her. Somewhere deep down I was dying to reach over and tickle her just so her laughter wouldn't end, but of course, I couldn't, and wouldn't, so I didn't.
  "Yeah, I'm sure," she answered, still flashing her beautiful smile. Then I felt it- that pain. It struck me hard in my heart and then I remembered what we were here for. She had been sharing that beautiful smile and more with too many people. She fucked us all over, literally.
  "So Catherine," I started, not quite sure of where to begin. "You know that I know now, about Mr. and Mrs. Dr. Auburn and Sam and Miranda. I just feel like, if you love me or loved me like you SAID you did, that you could at lease provide an explanation or something. Catherine, my father was good to you, but I was good to you, too. I gave you all of me, denied my intuition when it was telling me you was on some funny shit and still fucked with you.
  "And I was excited to see you every time I came to pick you up at the airport. I fucked you good, fed you, loved you, all of that shit. Like, can I have an explanation? What did I do wrong? Why all these people, Catherine? Why do you fuck all these people?" I felt almost out of breath after getting all of that off my chest. I looked at her with all of me and noticed that her eyes were wet. She looked down and started crying, heavily, so that her shoulders shook and you could tell she was crying from deep down inside.
  I watched her cry and wanted to console her but didn't. I let her let it all out-- it looked as though she hadn't done that in a while. I passed her tissue from off my table and she dabbed her eyes before blowing her nose. Her vulnerability made me want to take her in my arms and hold her until she was back to normal.
  She looked up at me with big wet puppy eyes. "Tiki, I'm so sorry. I am so sorry. You have to know that I never meant to hurt you or your father, at all. I love you and I love your father, too. In different ways. When I met your father, I met...

MILEAGE XI

Chapter 11
Bodies. -- 2


  "CATHERINE," I ATTEMPTED to look into her eyes but she looked through me. "Explain yourself. You look really bad right now."
  "Tiki," my father, said, straining again. "What is this?"
  Surprised, I looked away from Catherine and looked over at my father, who looked like he was on the verge of tears himself. "What?" I asked him.
  Just then my door slowly opened and Miranda slowly walked out, looking timid, which I've never really experienced seeing on her face. "Tiki?"
  "Are you leaving?" I asked, trying to convey the fact that I didn't want her to do that with my facial expression.
  "Oh no," she said, and the timidness was gone in a flash. "I, um, I'm sorry but I couldn't help but overhear some things Mr. Bates." She walked over to the counter and leaned on it beside him. "This isn't completely my business-"
  "No, it's not at all, really," my father said in the same stressful tone he had been carrying for the discussion, cutting her off.
  "But now it is, somewhat," Miranda continued, almost rude in her assertiveness. "Because now you're talking about my sister. And as a matter of fact, I've seen Cathy over here, over there a lot. A whole lot. And I've heard her--"
  "Miranda," I cut in, and I hated my tone as soon as it fell out of my mouth. I sounded like I was chastising a child. The age thing and the fact that Miranda was in high school hung in the background, peeking it's head out once in a while like a common cold in the winter. I couldn't help it, though. The last thing my father needed was Miranda rubbing in the fact that Sam had Catherine   multiple times, in multiple ways, making multiple noises.
  Miranda looked at me like she wanted to fight. I gave her a pouty face but she just turned back to my father. "You get my point," she finished.
  My father sat quietly absorbing the information he just received from Miranda. The back of my mind was buzzing- I knew Miranda and I were going to have our first argument fairly soon, but for now the major portion of my mind was on my father and what was going to happen next. I watched him put his face in his hands and sighed.
  Catherine just continued to sit quietly. She sniffled once, but her eyes, which were once fighting back a storm sat blank and dry on her face. Miranda folded her arms. The room's silence was uncomfortable.
  My father broke the still and got up from his stool. He slowly and quietly walked past the three of us and out the door. We stood silently as we heard the door slam behind him and finally the engine of his car turn on and pull off. It completely fell silent again and I just continued to stare at Catherine as Miranda's burning eyes sank into the side of my face.
  "So..." Miranda finally spoke up. "Cathy, honey, you not going to admit to anything?"
  Catherine's lip started trembling again and I almost lost my shit. How could she sit here and cry, feel sorry for herself after putting all of us through what she did?
  "Catherine, do you not care about anyone but yourself?" Miranda continued. She sounded livid, as though Catherine had cheated on her as well. The thought made me laugh until I realized with Catherine, anything was possible.
  "Wait a minute here," I interrupted with bewilderment. "What? Did something happen between the two-"
  "Oh HELL NO!" Miranda cut off. "Never will I do anything with that tainted ass nasty dirty pussy ass bitch." With every insult, Miranda took a step closer to Catherine and I felt shit about to turn ugly. To my surprise, Catherine didn't flinch. She just continued to sit staring out the kitchen window with her bottom lip trembling. "This dirty, stank pussy, want to sleep with everybody ass bitch. Tiki, this girl is a whore."
  I was so confused as to where all this anger Miranda had bursting out of her was coming from. She didn't know about the man doctor because she hadn't read the letter and me nor my father had said anything out loud about it. I didn't dare ask her, though, and although I felt slightly sorry for Catherine, I wasn't getting in between them just yet. "Am I missing something?" I asked.
  "I should have told you, but Sam was like, nah, she wanted to tell you." My face fell. What the fuck is going on?
   At this point Miranda was so close to Catherine that I'm sure she could smell and interpret her breath. "You're disgusting, Catherine. You really, REALLY thought I would play Tiki and sleep with you after you slept with my big SISTER? Bitch, I am the enemy. You are the hoe."
  This must have stuck a nerve with Catherine because in a flash I saw her do something I never expected her to do. She slapped Miranda square across her face. Miranda didn't blink, gasp-- nothing. She immediately pulled Catherine off the stool by her hair and proceeded to beat her ass. I rushed over and picked Miranda the Pitbull off of her, picking her up like she was a 24 pack of toilet paper. She fought my grasp, still trying to grab for Catherine but I held her tightly. Catherine stood up and adjusted her clothing and attempted to fix her hair. Her face was bright red. She looked stressed.
  "You still not gonna say anything, Catherine?" Miranda shouted. "Nothing at all?"
  I was not only only confused, I was disgusted. Although Catherine needed her ass beat several times in several different ways, although her muteness made me want to choke her for an entire Alaskan winter, Miranda was just too fine to be doing that stupid popping off shit and to me, it was a showcase of her immaturity. It brought me back to high school and that was a turn off.
  As Miranda annoyingly barked at Catherine, Catherine just stood there in that same annoying silence. Finally, she sauntered off. Miranda finally stopped bucking.
  "So," she said, almost snarling at me.
  "So, what the fuck is wrong with you!?" I asked her. "What the fuck is all that?"
  "Don't fucking scold me, Tiki. You're fucking me, I'm not your child, which you seemed to think earlier."
  "The fuck are you talking about? Don't try to flip side on this shit! Like what the fuck was that childish shit?"
  "Tiki, that bitch needs her ass beat. She did some really fucked up shit to you, and you're dead sitting here defending her, like she's not a nasty bitch, like she didn't cheat on you with an entire African village. And she SLAPPED me, did you miss that? She had no right putting her dirty little ass hoe hands on me. I can't believe you're really defending her." Just then Catherine sauntered back in.
  Miranda turned around and disappeared into my room where I could hear her fussing around. Minutes later, she reappeared, fully clothed. She shot me a dirty look, bumped Catherine with her shoulder and was out the door.
  Catherine and I just stood there, alone. Me in shock and her with her face still stuck on stupid. It was understandable why Miranda would want to beat her ass but I couldn't help but feel like it was wrong. Then again, I was still confused as to what happened with her, Sam and Miranda.
  "Catherine, you not gonna tell me shit, right?" I asked her. It was more like a statement. I already knew my answer. She just continued to stare off, and fed up, I went downstairs to assess my room.
To my surprise, Miranda cleaned my room, spread the new sheet on the bed and made it and put my dirty clothes and sheets away. I didn't have to whoop her ass for that, but I did have to whoop her ass for almost completely whooping Catherine. What Miranda said to me reverberated around my brain. I wasn't defending Catherine, exactly, was I? I just couldn't stand seeing her fucked up, and couldn't stand seeing Miranda fucking her up, despite her bringing that on to herself with that smack to the face. Then again, if anyone was that close to my face popping off, I know I would have straight up duffed them.
  I shook my head. I wasn't choosing sides here. Perhaps that was wrong of me, though. Maybe I should be picking a side and that was Miranda's side. Maybe I owed her an apology.
  I ran the shower until it got steamy and the air was tight and stuffy. I stood there for what felt like almost forever just letting the heat and hot water roll off my back and face. Finally I washed and scrubbed and rinsed off, getting dressed and towel drying my curls and pulling it in it's usual bun at the top of my head.
  I hit up Sam to let her know I was coming over and headed upstairs to get a bottle of water before getting in the car. Catherine was nowhere to be seen or heard.
  Once outside, I checked the mailbox out of curiosity. Surprisingly, there was a letter from the infamous Shakespeare in Love Dr. I took it out and stuffed it in the pocket of my sweats. I wasn't in the mood to read it now and honestly wasn't in the mood to read it ever. But Sam would be curious and Catherine didn't deserve to get this. Additionally, I still hadn't admitted to my father my sins, so taking this would also serve as a precaution just in case I was mentioned by name.

MILEAGE X

Chapter 10
Bodies -- 1


  THE LOOK on Catherine's face when she looked from me in my sport's bra and boxer briefs and messy bed hair to Miranda with equally as messy bed hair was slightly funny, briefly fulfilling and enjoyable even for a moment until a brief pang of guilt hit me somewhere inside. She looked upset but she was clearly trying to conceal it.
  My father on the other hand looked from me to Miranda and then blushing, quickly turned away, missing Catherine's reaction completely. All I could get out for the moment was a tiny:
  "Yeah, Pop?"
  "Get some clothes on, let's talk?" he asked, still looking at the wall.
  "Sure, Pops," I answered, slowly closing the door on him and Catherine's blank face.
  I could backhand Miranda. Twice now.
  Miranda quickly scuttled down the stairs to avoid me drop kicking her and I ran after her, almost tripping on the sheet that she let drag on the carpet behind her.
  "I'm going to kill you," I said to her through gritted teeth.
  She giggled and plopped back on the bed, still naked, letting the sheet slide down to the floor. I leaned over her and kissed her giggles away. She dead had me on full simp mode and although I could understand it and she deserved it, I wasn't ready to be ready for it. Miranda put her fingers in my hair and began massaging the thought away.
  "You're not killing anyone," she whispered lustfully.
  "Don't do that," I said to her, backing up and heading to my dresser. "Unfortunately, I have business to handle." I pouted at her.
  "Aw, poor thing," she replied, pouting back.
  "Yeah, I might be moving sooner than I thought. But either way," I slipped on a pair of basketball shorts, "I'm going to fuck you up."
  Miranda rolled her eyes and curled up into a ball on the bed. Pulling a wifebeater over my head, I walked over to my linen closet and threw a sheet at her. She happily wrapped herself up in it.
  "Be right back," I said, sadly, and headed upstairs.


  Catherine and my father sat in the kitchen, in an awkward silence that slapped me in the face when I entered. The silence actually almost physically turned me around and pushed me out the door but the look of absolute stress on my father's face kept me there. I slowly sauntered past Catherine and sat on the other side of him.
  "So... Father?" I asked, nervously. I definitely, definitely, should have smoked before enduring this weighted situation.
  He placed a small pile of letters on the counter in front of me and my stomach instantly dropped and my hands grew cold. I felt like I was at the starting line for a race at an important meet after having missed a week of practice smoking and drinking. Basically, I felt like I was walking into a set up for failure.
  "You should read this," he said, sounding more stressed than he looked. Guilt started dancing around inside of me because I knew how he felt- and I was part of the reason he felt like this.
  I took the stack of letters and unfolded the first one. My eyes instantly jumped to the date and I almost choked on my spit when it registered. Catherine was more fucked up a person than I thought.     The date on the letter was one before me and her even began our intense fling-- which apparently was meaningless-- well, obviously, was meaningless.
  My eyes scanned the letter, reading as a doctor, who apparently was male, expressed his feelings for Catherine as well as the guilt for having these feelings when he had a wife and kids and she had a fiance and a future stepdaughter. As if that wasn't enough, the good doctor signed the letter in sloppy but legible script: "Dr. Auburn".
  I wanted to vomit. I literally gagged. I put the letter down and stared bullets in to Catherine. Her face remained blank. I wanted to spit in it.
  "Catherine," I said. "Are you fucking-"
  "Keep reading," my father boomed. I almost looked around for James Earl Jones. His voice went from stressed and strained to angry and heavy. I wish I could figure out what he was thinking.
I picked up the next letter and read. More about Dr. Auburn-- the male-- and his undying love. The next letter was his sadness over her breaking it off because she had fallen in love with someone else. He questioned her sexual health, then her sexual orientation and asked who "this lover girl" was. I looked at the date on this letter-- our fling had freshly started.
  I didn't glare at Catherine after this letter because at least she tried to have some kind of couth about her even though she was still trifling. I halfway appreciated that, but I still wanted to throw her shit out on to the lawn and start up the sprinklers and then change the locks.
  I kept reading until I got the second to last letter. This letter was from someone I was already familiar with. Suddenly the female Catherine was in love with disappeared from matter. The doctor poured out her love and not once was there mention of my father. It seemed he disappeared when she went from Dr. Auburn the Male to me.
  The last letter was Dr. Auburn the Female talking shit about me for the most part. Although no name was mentioned, the perceived jealousy made it obvious (to me) that I was the topic.
  Again, I put the letter down and shot Catherine a glare of death. She refused to look at me. I slid the letters to my father in an irritated and disgusted silence. Perhaps this was the silence that smacked me and attempted to push me back out the door.
  "Well," my father rubbed his head, messing his hair up. His voice was back to stressed. "This isn't something I would've discussed with you normally, Tiki," he started. "But it looks like Catherine has been messing with a young female amongst others." He looked extremely hurt, like physically, as if someone ran over half of his body with a Denali. I felt absolutely terrible and didn't understand how Catherine could not feel just as terrible. "I caught a glimpse of Sam in Catherine's phone so I wanted to ask you if you knew anything about that. Catherine..." His voice trailed off and I felt terrible because I knew that my father felt deep down that the female being dragged in that letter was me, and that, on top of that, Sam had gotten some of Catherine, too.
  "Catherine..." I looked over to her as she stared blankly out the window across from us. She didn't turn to face me, didn't acknowledge me, didn't blink. She appeared completely spaced out, as if she were dealing with trauma. Fuck that. "CATHERINE," I said louder. She didn't move. I got up and walked around the island so that I was facing her. I banged on the counter top in front of her so hard my hands tingled. "Catherine, Catherine, fucking Catherine!" She stared me straight in my face, her eyes tearing up. Her bottom lip dramatically trembled as she fought back her tsunami. I wanted to hold her, roll my eyes, curse her out and tell her everything was going to be all good at the same time. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Catherine sniffled and a tear rolled out and down her cheek. "Catherine," I said gently. "We were best friends, you and my dad were best friends. Speak up."
  "Catherine is denying ever having done anything with Sam," my father interjected.
I was stuck. I couldn't squeal on Sam, but I couldn't lie to my father. I had done way more than enough damage. I couldn't admit to my father I knew about Sam and Catherine without snitching on myself. I had to snitch on myself at some point, however. I couldn't lie to him anymore. I couldn't stand to hurt him anymore, though. I had no idea what to do and the shit was actually currently blowing up and I had front seats.

MILEAGE IX

Chapter 9
Drink Up.


   I KISSED on her neck and massaged her cheeks as I led her to the bed. Once there, I stopped and pulled the dress slowly down to the floor and held her hand as she stepped out of it.
  I could sense that I was moving a little too slow for her, but I didn't care. The tease was bringing me satisfaction and bringing us both anticipation. I started kissing her again, dipping my tongue in and biting her bottom lip every once in a while. I kissed her chin, neck, her chest, dermal and kissed the dip that her boobs created, pushed together by her lacy black bra. I grabbed each breast and kissed what the bra exposed. Her head fell back and her chest heaved heavily- she was enjoying this.
  I let my hands fall to her arms as I moved down to her stomach, licking and then blowing around her belly button. She stepped from side to side in need, but I continued to ignore her, moving down to her thighs. I watched her eyes roll to the back of her head as I kissed and bit gently on her thighs. She reached out and grabbed my shoulders and then pulled the hair tie out of my head, massaging my scalp and grabbing my curl-nap combination once they were released. I slowly made my way back up to her neck, kissing every bit of exposed skin as I could on the way.
  When all the way up, I pulled my jacket off and picked her up and put her on the bed. I pulled each bra strap down and off and unhooked her bra before sliding her panties off.
  I heard her gasp and watched her grab her boobs as they heaved up and down. She was breathing heavily, almost as if she had just finished working out. I shoved her hands away and started massaging her breasts and then began kissing them all over before kissing, sucking and blowing on her hardened nipples. I wiggled my pants off and climbed in between her legs, stroking her inner thighs with my fingertips.
  She whimpered and wriggled her body, trying to manipulate her body so that my fingers would rub her clit, but she wasn't slick. I dodged every time, until I kissed my way back down to her thighs and kissed her clit lightly.
  She let out a moan and reached for my head but I sat back, unbuttoning my button-up slowly, to tease her. Once I peeled it off, I slipped my hand into my briefs and dipped my fingers into my dampness before slowly slipping it into her mouth.
  After sucking my taste off my fingertips, she licked her lips, moaned and looked up at me through hooded, lust filled eyes. I kissed her lips again quickly and dipped down between her legs and started stroking her with my lips and then my tongue. She almost came instantly- the teasing brought her to her brink- but just as she began to shake and moan louder I stopped and looked up at her with a goofy grin.
  Pissed, she began smacking me and slapping me.
  "Are you fucking serious!?" she exclaimed and I couldn't help but laugh.
  "I wasn't ready for all that shit, yet," I said calmly. I got up and went to the drawer I kept Combat in and stepped into the getup, then walked back over and crawled back over her, gazing down at her beautiful face. Her blue eyes looked back at me and I knew there was love in them. She sat up and put her lips on mine, surprising me with a kiss. She wrapped her arms around my neck and held me close, kissing me like she needed the kiss to survive. I kissed her back the same way and slowly slid it in.
  Catching her by surprise, she gasped, moaned and shuddered before falling back on the bed and squeezing her eyes shut. I softly snickered and slid in and out, watching her reflections of ecstasy as I pumped.
  When she started scratching my back and moaning louder I started to lose my cool and get into it, stroking hard and deeper so I felt it against me as well. The scratches, moaning and sensation on my clit made my head spin and I let my eyes roll back and squeeze shut.
  "Oh my God, you're so sexy," she moaned, digging deeper into my back.
  I opened my eyes and caught her looking up at me. "Oh, you think so?" I asked in nearly a breathy whisper and watched as her eyes rolled back yet again.
  "Oh my God," she moaned again, and I felt her legs tensing up and the shuddering in her body began again- so I slowed my stroking until I slowly pulled out.
She glared at me, not even bothering to slap me around this time.
  "Tiki, what the fuck?" she said.
  "Sssh," I said. I turned her onto her stomach and raised her to all fours.
  I started at the back of her neck and worked down her back with kisses. I started with light, gentle, teasing kisses then added my tongue and little nips so that she shivered and twitched with enjoyment. When she couldn't take it anymore, she pushed back and rubbed her vagina against the dick, causing it to be slick and wet. This turned me on even more and instead of torturing us with more teasing, I slipped it in slowly, and started stroking in and out, speeding up until I was fucking her hard and fast. Her moans turned into Spanish curses as I hit it rough, reaching around to hold her titties and bringing her in closer so the dick went deeper. Her moans got louder and mine crept up to match hers. Feeling closer to my orgasm, I pulled her hair and scratched her back and finally came down and bit her on her shoulder as we both shivered and came at the same time.
  She plopped down on the bed, her hair forming a purple sky around her. I kissed her back all over in adoration and lay out beside her.
  "You tired?" I ask her, playing in her hair.
  She turned to face me. "Shut the fuck up, Teeks."
  "I'm serious," I asked, crawling back over her back. I dropped kisses on her back again and continued playing in her now damp hair.
  "Shut up, Tiki," she whined.
  I ran my fingers down her back and across her cheeks, which made her shiver. I watched her goosebumps rise as my fingers went from her cheeks to the backs of her thighs and finally to the slick wetness in between. She let out a light whimper. I slipped my finger inside and watched her bite her lip. I took it out and slipped two fingers in, then slowly took them out and slipped three fingers in. She let out a low moan and that only encouraged me to kiss her back again and slide my strap inside. She exhaled loudly and I wrapped her hair around my hand and pulled, exposing her neck. I started off slow and sensual and then increased speeds.
  "Miranda," I breathed out.
  "Yes, Tiki," she cried.
  "Miranda."
  "Tiki," she moaned.
  "Miranda, tell me when," I managed to get out as I worked her back. I let go of her hair and lay on top of her, still stroking her and enjoying her soft, plump ass grinding back against me with each stroke. She had my eyes rolling back yet again, and I knew I would not last much longer. As I slid in and out of her, I wrapped my arms around her tightly so she can feel it all. Her moans were getting louder and goosebumps began to rise again. I let my lips graze her neck and then her earlobe and then I nibbled on it slightly.
  The pressure from her ass on me, her loud moans and slips in and out of Spanish and the sweet smell of her skin had me in a whirlwind. I started stroking harder until I felt like my toes were about to go numb from the climax that was ready to take me under.
  "Miranda, I'm trying to h-"
  "I'm going to cum," she cut me off and began shaking- her declaration  was like a trigger for my own orgasm and I shuddered slightly as it consumed me completely. I fell limp on her back as she lay completely lacking energy beneath me, panting.
  "I love you," I said gently into her ear and kissed her earlobe.
  "I love you, too, pussy," she retorted and giggled softly.

  I woke up to voices coming from above my head in the kitchen. I turned over and my eyes fell upon Miranda, sleep like a baby, still naked, wrapped up and golden in my charcoal sheets. The voices didn't startle me, but being in a house so incredibly silent lately, the sounds were startling. I squinted my eyes and strained my ears- because I somehow felt that squinting would maximize my ability to hear- to hear what exactly was going on.
  Catherine: "Next week? That's so sudden! I can't believe- I have no time to prepare! How long is the mission?"
  Silence. Some sort of muffled voice that sounded like a walkie talkie- the phone may have been on speaker- responding in a chipper tone. Then a deeper voice: "Tell her you can't make it." My father.
  Catherine said something whiny and then audibly: "I can't do that, Manny."
I stopped squinting my eyes and relaxed my ears. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear this. My heartbeat began racing. He was about to find out about me, if he hadn't already found out. I lay completely still in bed, letting time continue around me. Miranda lay peacefully, in a curled up fetal position, completely out cold and oblivious to what was going on. I sat up and slowly slid out of the bed so as not to disturb her recuperative slumber.
  Curiosity and nerves hit me as I tiptoed up the stairs and silently pressed my ear near the crack of my door and doorway.
  "There's no way you're leaving here next week for almost a year. You just got here."
  Silence. I pictured Catherine pouting in my mind
  "There is no way. I'm sorry. Fuck that, Catherine. You just got back. Not to mention you've been acting crazy the whole time, like I did something to you. Like I hurt you. Did I hurt you Catherine?"
Hearing my father talk like this almost brought me to tears. Dad was a great, sweet, hard working man, he didn't deserve this, any of it. At all.
  I didn't hear Catherine say anything
  Then my father: "Catherine, I hurt you? Where have you been? And I don't mean physically. I'm looking you in your eyes right now and I can't... feel you. You're not even here right now."
  My heart beat heavier and faster.
  My father continued: "Who's in Brazil, Catherine? Who's Dr. Auburn?"
  My heart dropped. Everything got quiet.

  Miranda stirred and her eyes fluttered open. From the top of the stairs I watched her look for me in the spot that I had held her in all night with slight worry on her face. She looked around the room and grinned finally when she spotted me blatantly eavesdropping at the door. I put my finger to my lips and signaled for her to come up and eavesdrop with me.
  She tiptoed up the stairs wrapped in my sheet and sat Indian-style beside me and the door. I would have to curse her out for that shit later, for now I had to make sure that no Tiki bombs were getting dropped without me being the one to drop them.
  Catherine still hadn't said anything, but I heard footsteps growing closer to my door. My dad seemed to have sympathy, as was my assumption based on the long silence he allowed her to take. I wished that Sam was here for this, but I appreciated Melinda being here as well.
  Finally, after an eternity, my father asked: "What's going on in Brazil? What's going on with Dr. Auburn?"
  Miranda, who had been asleep throughout the initial bomb, nearly choked and tumbled down the stairs.
  My father's voice suddenly boomed. "Tiki!"
  I felt my body grow cold almost instantly. I couldn't move. I wanted to answer my father but not from directly behind the door. I would open it, but I wasn't ready to face whatever was going to come next. I was pussy.
  Miranda tugged one of the curls that hung down about my face like a messy mop and kissed me lightly on the cheek before opening my door.

MILEAGE VIII

Chapter 8
Date.


  MIRANDA WAS geeked about us going on a date. I decided to pull the sweetheart Prince Charming card and take her to Oceanside, a fancy restaurant we had far up in the countryside that sat on the water.
  I decided to be debonair and dress up a little bit, wearing liquid black pants that I rolled up to show off fancy black on black striped socks and a black button up that was striped sheer and solid. I closed off my look with a black jacket, rolling up the sleeves to my elbow to reveal the white underside. The fanciness ended with the white and black handkerchief in my pocket- giving up on my hair completely, I just pulled it up in the regular messy curly bun on the top of my head. I threw on a little eyeliner and called it a day. When I told Miranda I wanted to take her on a date to Oceanside, her squeal of approval dropped butterflies to my stomach and her babbling about what she was going to wear made me grow nerves. I had felt like this once upon a time about Catherine but not to this extent. The cloud of guilt clung overhead for the duration of our relationship, affecting the complete openness of my emotions, I suppose.
  I heard a rapping on the door upstairs followed by the doorbell and then my cell phone was buzzing a second later. I rolled my eyes at Miranda's annoying antics and laughed under my breath as I went upstairs to let her in.
  When I opened the door I almost did the cliche teen movie shit and gasped, but I caught myself and pulled her into me for a kiss instead. She had on a nice, tight, black dress, with some sort of criss-cross net design over her cleavage and straps and her hair was down and straightened, the lilac hair creating the perfect contrast. Her face was "beat"- her winged eyeliner made her piercing blue eyes pop out even more.
  After kissing her softly on the lips, I held her there, my hand sitting on the small of her back that the dress revealed. Her skin was warm and soft and caused my fingers to roam. I found myself stroking her back gently and taking in her girly flowery perfume and shampoo. I felt my eyes start to close and that's when I pulled away.
  Her eyes were closed, too. She had felt the trance and fell into it, too. I led her down the stairs into my lair and we sat side by side, dressed fancy, on my couch.
  The silent air around us said so much. There was definitely sexual tension in the air, but it was way more than that.
  I lit the first spliff and passed to Miranda, lit the second one and sat back to face it myself. We sat smoking in silence for a while, enjoying it.
  "You look cute," she said, smiling at me softly.
  "You fine," I answered.
  "But," she reached up and touched a curl that hung loose. "You couldn't finesse your way out of the Tiki bun, huh?"
  "I didn't have any one to braid or brush my shit for me." I took the hair tie out my hair, shook it loose, then snatched it back and tied it back up in the bun. "I guess it's just my signature, now."
  She smirked and I thought I saw a sparkle in her blue eyes.
  "Guess so."

  Dinner was great and laid back. With the bud holding our appetites at 100, we devoured our plates and sat polishing drink after drink. At first I was mindful of the fact that I was the designated driver, but the cherry Ciroc, Sprite, and grenadine mix sneaked up on me and I knew that an Uber would have to be called.
  We knocked drinks back, and when Miranda's hand started climbing up my thigh at the table and her silent giggles started turning into obnoxious laughter where her light purple hair flipped back and her mouth hung happily open, I decided shit was real and it was time to go.
  We exploded into my room kissing passionately, her lips and tongue and teeth all gently teasing mine. I left my hand wander down from her back to her ass which I squeezed. I inhaled her scent as we made our way slowly down the stairs, brought my hands up to her shoulders and tugged the fancy criss-cross netting down. I stopped kissing her and kissed the exposed skin- her shoulders, upper arm and then kissed and sucked her neck.
  Her scent was so captivating and enticing, I wanted to stay in the nook of her neck, kissing and sucking forever, but there were more things to be done...