MILEAGE VII

Edge



IT FELT GOOD to kick back with my best friend. I really missed her and I could tell she missed me, too. We talked shit, smoked, and attempted to devise a plan to tell my dad. Sam didn't understand why I wanted to ruin the relationship between my dad and I by telling him, but that was just it- because of our relationship I had to tell him. The guilt was enough for me.
Sam was more stuck on the idea of getting back at Catherine. I figured a confession to my father was enough to get Catherine's situation ruined, but that wasn't enough for Sam. She was furious at the fact that she was sucked into Catherine's nastiness and all that she could think about was the fact that her health could be in danger. She had heard crazy things about the women in Brazil and was paranoid as hell. She wanted to fuck her life up, I just wanted her out of mine.
I had a short list of studios and one bedroom apartments that I needed to check out- this saddened me but I know it was what had to be done.
I pulled open my drawers and hunted for something to throw on quickly to see the first place. Sam was on her way over to come check it out with me. Part of me wanted Miranda to come but the whole "in love" thing kind of bugged me out a bit- I couldn't be in love and taking her with me to check out apartments even if it was just solely for me. Sam and I could handle it on our own.
Unfortunately, my extremely rumbling stomach forced me to head up the stairs into the kitchen, putting me at risk of bumping into Catherine and/or my father. Catherine, however, had been avoiding me like the plague.
I settled for the usual bowl of cereal and plopped down at the island counter, struggling to stuff my mouth and finish as fast as I could.
My father sauntered in, looking half asleep in PJs and a wife beater. He pulled out a bowl and set himself up a bowl of cereal and plopped down beside me.
Besides my wild curly hair and obvious feminine features, I was essentially my father. Our resemblance was uncanny- there was no way he could have ever attempted to dispute that I was his. We sat there in silence, chomping. I didn't bother rushing anymore- at this point he was here, eating, and to rush up my bowl of cereal would be rude. After all, he didn't do anything to me, I did everything to him.
After what felt like hours of awkward, crunch filled air, he finally looked straight ahead through the window over the sink and said lowly: "Catherine been acting strange."
My heart started beating hard and my stomach made a funny noise. I wasn't ready yet. But at least if he found out, I wouldn't have to tell him myself. I stayed silent.
He continued. "Maybe I shouldn't talk to you about this shit but what the hell, Tiks. You already know. Shit, she's been quite to herself, withdrawn. One minute she's excited and happy, the next minute she's worried as hell. She's never very excited- just-" he suddenly stopped talking and I shoved a spoonful in my mouth. He swallowed and looked up out through the kitchen window again. It was all just so dramatic. I chewed extra hard so as to not laugh at my own stupid little joke.
My dad, not noticing anything continued again: "It's something about those emails- and the mail. She's always excited about the mail. At first I tried to ignore it but she wasn't even trying to be subtle anymore. I gotta see what those letters are about. I gotta find them."
I sat silently, stunned. My father was suspicious of the doctor. He was going to find those letters. My father was good at finding shit. Which brought on new worry- the damn doctor of love mentioned me in that one letter that I stumbled upon- what if she mentioned me in more? And then my dad finds them... I didn't want to think about it.
"Dad," I said, softly.
"Yeah?" he stopped, mid-crunch and turned to face me. "Sup, Tiki Tabo?"
"I'm, uh, looking at an apartment today."
"Oh yeah?" he asked, turning to look at me.
I shoveled the last spoon in my mouth and nodded.
"Hm," he said, and spooned another bunch of cereal. "I suppose you about that age to move out."
I felt something unfurling inside of me. Sadness?
"I suppose," I agreed and dropped my bowl in the sink. "I'll always be over here, though, so don't worry little man." I punched him gently in the arm and flashed him a smile over my shoulder, catching his in return as I headed for the door.

The apartment was nice and roomy, with one and a half baths and an island in the kitchen- something I had been spoiled with living in my own house. As I checked out the rooms and listened to Sam ramble about what bitch she would invite over to christen each of them, I found myself wondering what it would have been like if Catherine had agreed to move with me- what it would have been like if it were her and I looking for a place instead. The thoughts quickly vanished as I walked into the main bathroom and saw two sinks and a wide wall to wall mirror. It took me to thoughts of Miranda fixing her hair, leaning over the sink slightly. I saw her reapplying lipstick, quickly stroking on mascara, and then winking at me via the mirror as I stood behind her, ogling her beauty.
"And, shit, two bathrooms!? I'mma have Diasia across this shit-"
"Sam," I cut her off. "You're not having any bitch in my bathroom or bedroom." I rolled my eyes at her.
We checked out the master bedroom and the little room adjoined to it with a door, which looked like the perfect space for a small office. Of course picturing the small room as an office brought upon thoughts and images of Miranda on every surface. This was bad.

I sat in the driveway, planning. I didn't know how I was gonna do this one. I thought back to what my father had said to me in the kitchen and tried not to freak out. I had to either come right out and tell him, ruin our relationship and dip, or find some kind of way to get specific letters- that didn't mention me at all- to fall into his possession.
I tapped the staring wheel and shook my head at the level of manipulation I almost allowed myself to get to. I had to just find the right moment and come right out and tell him.
I got out the car and locked the door, walking slowly towards the house. Dread filled me and caused the house to appear as though it were looming over me. I paused at the mailbox, stared at it, rested my hand on it. I still couldn't believe all that's transpired. Since the day I was excited to pick up Catherine, Ruler of the Thots at the airport to now- us both being in love with different people. My feelings took on a full 180 and it was bittersweet- both a pain and a relief.
Feeling a little melodramatic, I walked slowly up to the house. I was leaving this house and now it was hitting me for real that I was leaving behind several memories- and my dad, alone. How could I fess up to something so fucked up and then dip off like a coward? But what was done was done. No matter how you looked at it, the situation was fucked up and trifling. I should have thought about the shit before I fucked around and fell in love with her.
I strolled down the stairs to the basement. The house was empty as usual, and I was grateful. After a great vacation and applying for a great apartment that I knew I was going to get, I didn't need Catherine ruining my barely good mood or my father testing my honesty and moral.
I sat down on my couch and decided to fiddle around with my business a little. All this drama had me slightly distracted, I couldn't lie, but nothing could keep me to the point that I didn't handle what I needed to. I looked through forums, online posts and reviews, emails, stocks, messages, notes, and everything I could possibly read and work on to keep me from the situation on the plate in front of me. I was so tired of thinking about it, being in it, I was ready for the shit to just end.
I worked until I grew an appetite. I slowly shut my laptop and sauntered over to where I kept my bud stash. I felt drained, tired, sluggish. I knew someone that would both have an appetite as well as wake me up- and now that I think of it, I don't think I've taken her on a date yet. I rolled up a couple spliffs and texted Miranda.
"Pull up ;)"