Dirty
I FELL INTO the sheets and let the white puffs swallow me. I had a fascination with white puffy sheets. They strongly symbolized luxury for me. I rolled around a couple times, curls flying in and out my mouth, stopping at the sound of Miranda's giggles as she came out the bathroom, tying her robe.
"This is really nice," she said, looking around. "To what do I owe this honor?"
"Girl, bye," I said, jokingly.
She chuckled and plopped down beside me. "Aye, did I tell you about Catherine?" She propped herself up on her elbow and looked me right in my face, attempting to read it.
I kept my face straight, disgust just beneath the surface. Catherine was a legit hoe, scorned or not.
"Nah, what about her?" I asked, nonchalantly.
She rolled her eyes. "She's been at the house." She studied my face. "A LOT."
I snorted. "Well, hm."
"Like spending the night type shit. In Sam's room."
I kept my blank expression. This must've been killing Miranda because she spat out what she had been suppressing all this time. "I think they're fucking, Tiki."
I had already thought that was happening by now.
"I'm not surprised, unfortunately," I said, shortly.
"Tiki, Sam isn't speaking to me." Her face fell. Sam and Miranda were extremely close. I could see the hurt in her face.
"I saw her a couple days ago," I confessed. "I saw her in the store. I went to go say what's up to her because I had been MIA and she had been MIA. I pull in and before I even get out of the car I see Thot-tain all in her phone and all over her. And then I called and watched her ignore my call. Like, ignore it like she'd been doing... and I didn't think too hard about it, I just got tight and decided to fall back from Sam because that shit is fake and clearly she needs time to get her life because she's gotta be going through something but-"
"But nah," Miranda cut me off and snuggled up beside me. "Sam isn't like that, and you know it and I know it. Nigga only acts stupid and childish if she's hurt or betrayed."
"Which Catherine would love," I added, starting to feel like one of the Scooby kids.
"Exactly, Benson," Miranda joked, kissing me behind my ear.
"She told Sam about us."
"Probably," Miranda replied, sighing.
"She's probably tight," I muttered.
"Unlike your captain," Miranda snorted. "Them walls are LOOSE. Sam probably seen the marks you left behind from the last time you went mining in that cave."
I started laughing. "I'm surprised Sam's pettiness didn't lead to a text message asking about those walls. But then again, I wasn't supposed to know."
"So what now then? We have to get this resolved."
"On the first day of my hotel room extravaganza? And ruin our honeymoon?" I pulled her on top of me and she squealed.
"I suppose you're right," she said between giggles. "We can tell her tomorrow or next week." She slowly pulled off her robe and placed my hands on her breasts and kissed me on my forehead.
A week of great sex and rides and pickups to high school, I found myself hating Catherine, missing my best friend and dreading conversations with my father. Bumping into him in communal areas such as the kitchen, hallways and entering and leaving the house had become awkward and slightly burdensome.
I sat on the couch in my room, sifting Craigslist for studios or nice one-bedroom apartments. After telling him that me, some Doctor in Brazil and my best friend were all fucking his bitch I would have to leave.
I suppose it was time to leave the nest, anyways. I was more than old enough, I had money and a business and if I lived on my own already like I was supposed to, I probably wouldn't have ended up sleeping with Catherine.
The way I ended up with her seemed so surreal with everything that was currently happening between us.
With my father always working, Catherine and I often found ourselves bonding on my couch downstairs in my room watching MTV and her favorite, Spongebob. When the song came on, she would stand out and belt the words like a child, yelling out "ay yi captain" as if she wrote the song and was proud of her creation.
One day in my lair, she recited the song cheerfully, saluting at every captain, dropping onto the couch out of breath at the end.
I laughed at her like I always did, but this time was different. It was some movie scene shit. Our eyes met and locked and Catherine leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. Not wanting the moment to end, I held her face and kissed her back feverishly, passionately. It felt like it had embodied all of my emotions and I was lightheaded, dizzy after. If I ever was confused on whether I was in love with her or not before then I knew at that point I was. After that kiss all I get out was "ay yi, Captain" in a breathy whisper. She giggled sweetly, planting kisses all throughout my face until we finally locked lips again.
From that day on, the name Captain stuck to Catherine just the way she seemed to stick to me. We fucked day, night, went out on dates, and when things started getting real, I sat her down and told her I had to tell my Dad and we had to move out.
Catherine talked me out of it and I never brought it up again.
Those days of picnics and TV dates seemed so long ago. I never would have thought that the disgust that I felt towards her today would be possible. I also didn't think she would fuck my best friend but out of all fairness, my father would have never thought she was sleeping with his daughter, almost her step daughter.
Guilt stabbed me in the throat and I coughed. Time to put the laptop down and deal with a spliff or two. Or three.
I began rolling up and in midroll my phone started going off. I almost dropped my weed on the table when I realized who was calling me and what kind of call it was- Sam was facetiming me.
I propped the phone up and hit answer and commenced rolling.
"So, you just sitting there rolling up a blunt?" she asked.
"I mean," I wanted so badly to laugh and I could almost hear her holding back laughter in her voice but serious shit was at hand and it had to be settled and squared away. "I'm under enough stress, you know? Bitch problems, my best friend dipped off on me..."
"Your best friend? You mean the one who's little sister you been fucking while you been fucking Ms. Light Thick and Curly?"
"No, the one who's sister I fell in love with while Ms. Light Thot and Curly been fucking off with some doctor in Brazil."
Sam's mouth dropped. "Oh, word? Wait, what!?"
I nodded my head and lit up the spliff.
"So wait, for one, LOVE, my nigga? Are you sure? Because that's my little fucking sister and that's my life. You're not about to play."
"Nigga, this is me, not YOU. LOVE. You know me."
"Which leads me to my next question, Tiki." Sam inhaled the spliff deeply before blowing the smoke into the camera and asking her question. "How long have you been fucking with Miranda to be in love with her bitch ass?"
"Well," I hesitated to answer because this was the part I messed up at. I sat back and inhaled and blew smoke back at the camera. "I mean..."
"The day you bumped into her at the mall and kept mentioning how much she'd grown?"
I looked away. "Yeah."
"Hm." Inhale, exhale. "So you actually love her."
"Yeah, nigga," I said, slightly annoyed. "I don't dog bitches like you, bro. I was gonna sit here, lonely, while Catherine dogged me out if it wasn't for you. Which brings me to some questions of my own."
"Nah, wait. 'Cause you said something about Catherine fucking off with some doctor in Brazil. And why didn't you tell me you liked my sister?"
"Because that's your little sister, bro. And like I said, I had some questions of my own for you." Inhale, exhale, smoke hit the camera. "When and why-"
"Listen," she interrupted. "Catherine is bad. We both know that. And I can't front like I'm not a fucked up person for smashing. But she came up to me all sad talking about you were playing her with Miranda, thotting around, hoarding naked pictures of her dumbass and fucking her in the car so she wouldn't know."
I immediately started coughing. The bullshit she spoke made me choke on my smoke. As usual when one coughs during smoking the coughing commenced for about ten minutes, which caused Sam to die laughing and start choking herself.
"Nigga," I said, wiping my eyes and clearing my throat, "so she wouldn't know?"
"That's what she said, bro," Sam answered, chuckling. "Oh man," she shook her head, "now repeating it, that shit doesn't sound like you. You'd take a bitch to a hotel before you fuck them in a car."
I got quiet, inhaled and choked.
"Fuck you, Tiki. I know you had Miranda at the W. The cheap bitch brought the fucking robes back."
Again I choked and coughed for what felt like another hour. "She kills me!" I got out between coughs.
"Tiki," Sam's voice got serious and her brows furrowed. "Is Miranda in love with you?"
"Oh, I don't know." I started blushing. "I haven't told her. She's a G, a tough one. I can't get all soft and cookie on her."
"She's no G, she's a little bitch. And I think she might love you because she dropped oh boy for good for good. I overheard them talking in the living room a couple weeks ago and haven't seen or heard from him since."
Again I fell silent. I packed the leftover of my stash in my grinder and twisted. "Hm."
"Yep." Sam joined in on the weed grinding on her end. "Anyways, Catherine came up to me with that bullshit and of course I instantly wanted to fuck you up for fucking with Miranda on some petty bullshit. And because I felt like you were being petty, I decided to get petty, too. Which is out of my character and I'm embarrassed about it now. I stopped talking to Miranda's bitchass and started consoling Catherine through her heartbreak."
"Consoling means fucking, right?" I interjected.
Sam rolled her eyes and started tucking and rolling her spliff, a perfect way to not have to look at me anymore. "It didn't start off that way. I would just listen to her talk about how heartbroken she was. And then she wanted to cuddle, and then control my phone, and then give me head... that bitch is a pro at being conniving, son, I swear. She gave me mad good top like damn-"
"Sam, I get it."
"My bad. But she started making it a habit until I finally gave in and fucked her. Then she got open- or who knows, maybe she didn't, clearly this bitch is an actress- but like she fake got open and started the whole 'Oh, I always thought you was sexy, them blue eyes-'"
"Nigga," I interrupted. "Catherine does not talk like that."
"So you think I'm lying?" She finished rolling up and glared into the camera.
I knew she wasn't lying. One thing about Sam and Miranda was the fact that they did not lie to people that they cared about. Sam was quick to lie to a hoe, but that was where she drew the line.
She cleared her throat and in a higher pitch with a slight Spanish accent imitated Catherine. "Oh, you know I always found you attractive, with those blue eyes, stunning. So stunning," and she fluttered her eyelashes.
I laughed and lit my spliff. "She's such a thot, son."
"She tried to turn me against you ohdee and then cuff me."
"She succeeded, though."
"Only for a minute. I called you, didn't I?"
I inhaled quietly.
"Son, who is she fucking off with?"
"NIGGA!" I exclaimed. I broke down the discovery of the letter to the moment between Catherine and Miranda and then to my discovery of her and Catherine.
Sam looked dazed. "I'm getting tested," she muttered.
"You ate that?" I asked.
"Nigga..." she didn't respond.
I shook my head disapprovingly.
"You?"
"No," I answered boldly. "Fuck no."
Sam looked embarrassed. "Damn, man. I heard shit about Brazil. Brazil is trifling."
"Don't worry, bro," I said with empathy. "She's fucking with a doctor."
"But she's a thot!" Sam exclaimed. "She's fucking with a doctor, you, me, your dad..." Her voice trailed off. "She gotta go."
"Man.... my dad."
The line got quiet as we just sat and smoked on facetime. Finally, Sam broke the silence stating that she was going to come ciphe and we hung up.
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